Mowing down old men


We all need a hobby, and apparently my new hobby has become scaring the bejeebus out of old dudes while threatening to mow them down in my car.  I was unaware of that this was my new passion, but apparently it is.  Twice in the last couple of weeks I have been accused of such with a shake of a cane and a waggle of a finger as I merely tried to turn in or out of the driveway at work.

The first time I had no idea what this old fella was going on about.  I clearly saw him. I stopped a yard or two in front of him.  Yet as he made his way across the parking lot entrance, he felt obliged to mutter at me while shaking his cane in my general direction.  I made sure I he had fully cleared the driveway before I continued to pull in.  His anger at me was truly puzzling.

Not so puzzling was why the fellow today was pissed off.  And under normal circumstances I would feel horrible about scaring someone like that, and would have been full of apologies.  But, this was hardly a normal driver/pedestrian near miss.

This time I was pulling out of the driveway.  The busy medical center where I work is located on a very busy thoroughfare.  After I made my way up the ramp to the head of the driveway, which was free of pedestrians at that time,  my attention was focused to my left as I waited for a clearing to turn right.  Now, I’ve walked up this street many a time, and many a time I have had to wait as a car waits to make its turn. And I’ve had pedestrians have to wait for me, or perhaps pass behind my car.  But never before have I  encountered anyone who has attempted to walk in front of my car when my focus was clearly to the left.

When traffic cleared I made a break for it right as this elderly fellow decided to start walking in front of my car.  I did not hit him, only startled him I guess.  I was pretty damn startled too.  Normally, my next instinct is to make apologetic gestures to show how deeply sorry I was about my mistake.  I can do a mean mea culpa when I want to.  But, this time was different.   Rather than looking startled or frightened about the near miss, the old guy just stood there and glowered at me.   I gestured to him that it was safe for him to pass.  He continued to glower at me.  I gestured again.  More glowering.  Seriously, the guy stood there for a good minute or two and glowered.   Any sympathy I had for him was quickly dissolving.

Eventually when he did start to move he did this whole pantomime with his arms up in the air acting like he was afraid I was going to hit him.   After  he had cleared the front of my car, he continued his silent condemnation.  And since the opening in traffic had passed, I was forced to continue to look in his direction waiting for the next clearing as he exaggeratedly shook his finger and then proceeded to make fun of my physical appearance.  It was not a pleasant experience.

Perhaps I need to reconsider this new hobby.  It’s not really all that much fun.  Maybe I’ll take up knitting again instead.

12 responses »

  1. It was you! You! I saw my life pass before my eyes! Ok, just kidding.

    But now you do have me wondering which large east bay medical facility you work at. If I had time, I’d just visit them at my leisure, and limp around the block a few times, watching. (Sorry.)

  2. Yuk. He sounds like an unpleasant old codger. I bet he still thinks women shouldn’t have driving licences at all…

  3. Pantomiming and glowering old men with canes?

    Add a donkey, a bag full of feathers and tequila shots and it sounds like a night in Tijuana.

    : p

  4. jules is onto sum thin ~ its open season on glowering = maybe you should get wona those la coo ka ra cha horns and hat with danglin balls just for such occasions.

    watt evah ~ don’t give up a perfectly legitimate sport just because at first ya suck atit.

    practice practice practice ~ show sum discipline damnit!

  5. on bee half ov old men everywear: Get A Life ! the finger wagging cane shakin is the best we can muster ~ hour ball sacks are hangin down to our knees for cries sake = this is the most fun weave had since we stopped taken viagra.

  6. That’s barely a sport-leaving a busy medical center on a driveway. What you need is a Prius. Then you can drive real slow and come up behind them using your stealth machine. Tap the horn at the right time and you can really get their engine running.

  7. There are some people that are just ornery and enjoy making life unpleasant for anyone they encounter. Kind of like a stinkweed.

  8. You could keep a camera in your car. I donno why but it seems like such a perfect self defense against hostility. I’ll never forget the look on my brother’s face when he was giving me the finger and I took a picture of him.

    Flash should be on, for clarity sake.

  9. Omsbud – Actually the large medical center is here in the City. So should you be a member of particular HMO with a large facility heading out toward the Richmond district, watch out, I’m a gunnin’ for ya! 🙂

    woo – Yeah, he certainly wasn’t my idea of a kindly, sweet grandpa. More like the old widower who shouts at kids “get off my lawn!”

    Jules – OMG you almost made my coffee come out my nose. Thank you for the guffaw.

    BBG – I promise I’ll try harder. Can I practice in your driveway?

    Kangaroos – See you in Fairfax. But, you gotta buy me lunch.

    Carol – hmmmm. Sounds like you might have some practice with this. Anything you care to confess?

    BQ – I guess in someways I did that old guy a favor – he needed someone to hate and I offered him the opportunity to take out all his anger out on. That was awfully kind of me, wasn’t it?

    Am – You know if he was being a total dick with absolutely no provocation, I would feel free to tweak him with the click of my camera. But, as it was, at first I felt bad for him – after all I didn’t mean to almost hit the old coot – my dislike and annoyance with him grew on me as he continued his antics well past their expiration date.

    Norm – yeah, I think you were right there. Besides, in both cases they probably had just left our medical center, and lord knows what news they got or how they had been treated.

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