In which I am honored



My buddy Amurin over at Stop and Wander has bequeathed upon me this lovely “Honest Scrap” award for remarkable honesty in blogging.  Thank you, Am.  I want to  thank WordPress for making this possible with their  lovely, easy and free software and hosting.  And a big hug to my real life friends who completely ignore online ramblings thus freeing me up to write without worrying what they will think.  And finally, to my parents who slapped me three ways to Saturday whenever they caught me in a lie.

When you get the Honest Scrap award, you are meant to grace your readers with 10 honest things about yourself, and then pass on the award to other blog friends who write honestly and truly about themselves and events in their life.

  1. I live in constant fear of an 80-something year old lady whom I have let down.  She wrote me a lovely letter in longhand requesting that our company grant free parking to senior citizens.  I promised her I would get it delivered to someone who might be able to do something about it.  Being as our organization is so vast, I have no idea who would care that an elderly member feels as if her age should grant her a pass on paying for parking.  So, the letter sits.  And I await in fear of her phone call.
  2. Instead of meditating or writing in the mornings like I know I really really should, I fart around playing stupid games on Facebook.  It seems like people are writing all kinds of apps and games for Facebook, so here’s an idea: I think there should be an app that kept a running total of all the time a person spent on Facebook.  And then to add to the cruel reality of that frightening number, it would compare your total hours to something useful like:  Your Time On Facebook:  172.25 hours / 172.25 of non-Facebook Time = 10 books read, 5 volunteer shifts at the homeless shelter, 7 non-garbage blog posts, 16 1/2 hour meditation sessions, and a dozen home-cooked (i.e. non-microwaved) meals.
  3. Even though I don’t even kill bugs b/c of my personal, Buddhist influenced beliefs, I have gotten quite into playing Mafia Wars on (what else?) Facebook.  I have “iced” 36 mobsters, and “whacked” 6 of them, though I haven’t the foggiest idea what is the difference between icing and whacking.
  4. I have a sneaking hunch I am not as nice a person as I like to believe myself to be.
  5. I’m also not a very good friend.  I do a shit job at keeping in touch with people, and apparently returning emails and phone calls is a bit of a foreign concept.
  6. I stopped shaving my legs years ago since I always wear pants, and the boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind.
  7. Making this list is starting to depress me
  8. I have a natural tendency towards depression.  It’s been pretty well under control for a few years now and I haven’t had to resort to going back on meds, but it still doesn’t take much to make me go to my dark place.
  9. When I was pretty freshly sober and in therapy started really mucking about in the dark recesses of my psyche, I had a job where I subjected myself to a crazy boss’s whims and insane hours (can you say 70 a week?).  Occasionally, when it all got too much, I would hide under my desk.  I was capable of conducting business over the phone or with my staff, but I couldn’t bring myself to sit up in my chair or leave my office.   I think it tells you the general insanity of this workplace that my hiding under my desk hi-jinks didn’t phase anyone.  Though I was once told during a performance review that I might want to come up with other coping mechanisms because it was somewhat startling to the newer staff members.
  10. I am counting down the days until this stupid NaBloPoMo self-challenge is over.  Whew.  Only 4 more days!

Now, it’s my time to get revenge . . . oh wait, I mean it’s now time to pass along the honor of the Honest Scrap Award.  One will go to my North Coast buddy Adam, who not only joined me on this NaBloPoMo challenge, but he also threw in going to the gym every day.  Silly, silly man.  I haven’t heard much from my boys Ombudsman and Julian, so here ya are fellas.  Congratulations!

11 responses »

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you for not giving this to me. I am still recovering from living so many years in the land of perfect people (aka Utah) and I couldn’t handle that type of stress of trying to be totally honest…it would mean not being perfect. I just couldn’t do it. 🙂

  2. I don’t understand how people can spend so much time on FB then complain because they did just that. Not you. Or you included. But I swear, every other person I know that spends time on FB complains about how much time they waste there. Just don’t do it. I go check what people are up to once in a while or answer a message then I am out of there. I think the most time I ever spent there is maybe 45 minutes at at time. And it’s not often.

    Okay. I get it. It’s addicting. So I’m told.

  3. This happens at Quotidian Viccissitudes, too- you write something that makes me laugh, even though it must have been a horrifying situation (the workplace where you had to hide under your desk to cope.) That image is so nutty, yet I can see you pulling it off as if it were par for the course- and yet, what a terrible experience!

    The icing and whacking thing also cracked me up. Thanks, as always, for your honesty.

  4. I’m definitely not addicted to Facebook but every time I go on there “just to respond to somebody’s message”, I’ll end up logging off hours later. The internet is like that in general, for me. I spend far too much time googling random shite, or looking it up on Wikipedia. I know a little about everything, and not very much about anything.

  5. 1. I’m worried about the little old lady and her letter, now, too. Just think how wonderful you’ll feel when you copy it and send it to the head of every department you can think of. Including PR.

    2. I hate facebook. Twitter is my internet time-waster of preference. No stupid games.

    3. see above

    4. I disagree.

    5. that’s not being a shit friend, that’s being lousy at keeping in touch. There are people I consider good friends with whom I am not in regular touch – I know, however, that if I called them with an emergency, they would do all they could to help me.

    6. I suspect that much of what passes for the necessities of feminine beauty are actually only aimed at other women. Men are much less fussed than we are.

    7. 🙂

    8. Me, too. Doesn’t take much. Constant vigilance…

    9. Holy crap! I used to sit and sob silently at my desk and in my car, but not under it. I think it would make me feel worse. Unless I could still see the window. Just goes to show you how awful that workplace was that they did nothing to help you when you were obviously struggling.

    10. I think I only give myself easy self-challenges. Yes, having considered it, I do. Well done you!

  6. Christina – I’m with ya on the procrastination. But, I didn’t put that on my list because well, my name kinda already says that, don’t it? 😉

    Beth – If you weren’t off galavanting in Italy, I would have tagged you. But, as it is, I’m still holding out the hope that you like me enough to a) cook me one of those delicious meals you learned to cook or b) bring me back a delicious Italian man to cook me a tasty meal. Too much to hope for?

    Corina – I normally don’t go around complaining about it, but since this post was about being honest, I felt I needed to spill this dirty little secret. At least it feels dirty to me.

    Amurin – yeah, at the time t wasn’t pleasant and hiding under my desk seemed like a completely reasonable reaction. Hmmm. I’m seeing a character for a possible NaNoWriMo attempt . . .

    petrichoric – Welcome! Yeah, FB and the internet in general have a way of frittering away our time, and attributing to the nationwide (worldwide?) shortening of our attention spans. The other day I picked up a book(!) and I couldn’t just sit and read a chapter or two. I ended up devouring it in one four hour sitting (it wasn’t that long). It was like I was so thirsty for the experience of being able to get deeply into something. Does that make sense?

    woo – I disagree that you only give yourself easy challenges. Sometimes my muscles ache just from reading your outdoorsy and athletic adventures. I think we just challenge ourselves differently. Oh, and thank you. 🙂

  7. Urkk–you’re the second one to tag me with this now. I’m going to have to muster what honesty I can, soon. I’m not sure if I should be flattered by your and Anhinga’s confidence in me, or dismayed …

  8. Pingback: Procrastinations & Prognostications « OmbudsBen

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