I give up!


OK, that’s it.  I give up!  Who am I kidding?  Control is nothing but an illusion.  Especially when you apply the word “control” to living beings.

With the exception of Truce, the Lagamorph Lover from Down Under, most of my readers are probably not familiar with the whole convoluted process of trying to get two rabbits to get along together.  Of course, you simply couldn’t throw two unrelated rabbits together and hope for the best. Nooooooooooooooooo.  You have to have “bonding” sessions with them where you take them to a neutral space, and for a very small amount of time they have to share that space while you sit on the floor with a water pistol ready to shoot the first one who shows any aggression.  And then you wait for vaguely lagomorphic signs of accepting one another.  Each day you increase the amount of time they are together until, eventually, they start grooming one another, which I guess, is the rabbit equivalent of a marriage ceremony (and rabbits, being big advocates for equality, believe in gay marriage).   Some rabbits have very short courtships, others can go on for months, and others are simply not meant to be.

By the time I get home in the evening, one of the last things I want to do is act as a rabbit matchmaker.  They share a space that is divided by a pen, so they can see each other, smell each other, even touch noses if they so desire.   I mean, is my sitting on the floor with a squirt gun really going to help matters?   They are pretty happy buns.  They both get a good amount of free time, and their pens are pretty spacious.  I’m was starting to think that this may be as good as the arrangement gets.

That was until last night around midnight.  I’m about to fall asleep when there is a sudden racket coming from the rabbit area.  Wha?  Huh?  I get up to investigate only to discover that Peabody has found a way to jump the barrier.  Mr. Binkles meanwhile is scurrying up to hide in his loft while the intruder moves into Mr. Binkles bunny condo (which is a fancy name for a cardboard box with doors cut out of it). Great.  So, I open the gate to extract Peabody and both rabbits charge out of the pen and start chasing each other and even the odd cat or two.  I manage to lure both rabbits back to their pens with carrots and go back to bed.

This morning the same thing happened, except this time it seems a bit more playful than threatening (but then doesn’t everything after a good night’s sleep?)  I release them to clean their pens and chaos ensues.  Cats and rabbits tearing through the house, skidding around corners, leaping over each other and various obstacles.  Is this fun?  Is this fighting?  Where is my coffee?

After putting them back in their separate pens, I had no confidence that Peabody would stay put. There was the distinct possibility I would come home to two injured bunnies.  Despite being possibly the cutest creatures on earth, rabbits fight really fiercely.  Scary fierce.  But, on some level I felt that the worse case scenario was that Mr. Binkles would be left to hide in his loft, under his bankie (yes, he pulls a bankie over him when he sleeps, and yes, it’s insanely cute).   Still, when I came home I was very relieved to find them both just chillin’ in their respective pens.

So, tonight, while I relax in the living room, I’ll try letting them both out at the same time and see what the hell they decide to do.  No courting circle, no squirt gun, just two rabbits who are going to decide whether to be friends or not on their own.

24 responses »

  1. Rabbit drama! 🙂

    Let’s just say I am very glad there are only two cats in my house who seem to co-exist rather nicely although there is the occasional racing around the house chasing each other thing here too. All in fun. I hope your bunnies are just having fun too!

  2. Did you know that ‘rabbit’ and ‘cat’ are interchangeable in the Chinese horoscope? I don’t know how, but they’re perceived to have very similar characteristics. I know because I happen to be a monkey/rabbit (or monkey/cat).

    Anyway, I’m damned if I see it.

  3. mcarp – you know, I’ve really been hoping that they’ve been listening when I do my daily recitation of the Heart Sutra, and perhaps it would help loosen the grip of their self-grasping. Alas, it has not.

    tpgoddess – Yes, rabbit drama. And for the most part the rabbits amuse me to no end – particularly when Mr. Binkles and Tangerine the cat start chasing each other around. It’s laugh out loud funny. But, once I saw the potential damage that Peabody and Mr. Binks could do to each other, I watch their interactions with much more caution. I hope they get to a place where I can just laugh and not worry.

    Wisdomjunkie – Uh, they are both furry and have four legs? Yeah, that’s just about it.

    And thank you for that bit of trivia. I don’t know what I would do without it.

  4. houze about ya strap a coupla squirt guns on the rabbits ? a water pistol packin rabbit = sounds lika VP candidate to me ~ at least youd getta good utube video outtovit

  5. BB Golly – Unfortunately, the operation of a squirt gun requires opposable thumbs, which rabbits do not possess. They will, however, have a pee off, which is always great fun for the whole family.

    And don’t get me started on the VP candidate that is not Biden. Oh lordy, I feel a post coming on . . .

    Robin – Actually, it was really uneventful. They both hopped around the living room mostly ignoring one another. Occasionally, they would touch noses, which would send one of them skittering off in another direction. But, there was no aggression, which made me really happy. If they can have free roam time together, that doubles their free roam time, which should make all of us very happy.

  6. they’ll come round – it just takes a bit of time (and a bit of skittering around the room and chasing each other, which I think they do in order to figure out who’s the fastest and fittest and therefore the boss).

    They’ll be grooming each other in no time. And that’s adorable.

  7. new meaning to the term ‘piss off’ ~ eye still think u kud rig sum thin up with may bee wonna then squeezy thing strapped under the hind quarter ~ speakin of VPz and givin up = when due we git that $700@#%^& bail out check ? thaz about $20k per person rite ?

  8. Ya know, I did not know that rabbits were gay and believed in gay marriage. I learn so much about the bay area by reading the wisdom and adventures you share in your blog.

  9. Truce – Thank you for the encouragement. I fear I listen too much to the rabbit nazis online who are quite convinced there is only one true way to get rabbits to OBEY (click of the heels). I trust that Binks and Peabodyl work it out eventually. My job is to keep them safe and happy until it finally dawns upon them that they are indeed soulmates.

    BB Golly – Are you trying to turn this into a political blog? Don’t you think I have enough drama with the Dorje Shugden nonsense?

    BQ – Well, rabbits don’t think of themselves as “gay” per se. They are simple creatures and love who they love and care not a whit about the gender of their beloved. But, they are big fans of equality, and have posted a large No on Prop 8 sign in their pen.

  10. Not to be glum, but you might flip them each over every once in a while to watch for bite marks in their nethers; sometimes the boys get stupid and mount the wrong end. The teeth get to chompin’ and all of a sudden somebody needs stitches. But take heart… it just might take them a bit to figure out who’s the Top. : )

  11. This is what happens when you teach abstinence only sex education. Damn rabbits don’t know their top from their bottom, and don’t even have the common sense to not use their teeth.

    I forgot TMC that you are also a bunny person. Thanks for the tip. I came home to find them both in Mr. Binkles pen. Things looked fine until food came into the picture, and Mr. Binkles started getting a big aggro with Peabody. Just a lot of posturing though. Oh what fun these sentient beings be.

  12. Not to be glum, but you might flip them each over every once in a while to watch for bite marks in their nethers; sometimes the boys get stupid and mount the wrong end.

    And here I thought I had dating problems. It could, apparently, be so much worse.

  13. nice ~ nun cents over eye think = still the sexual bondage of rabbits seams so topically a-plick-able 2 me ~ n I notice that eye often mount the wrong end myself ~ never scene any bite marks tho butt it explains a lotta udder things

    yeah and remember when ‘gay rabbit’ just meant u were a happy furry mammal ?

  14. Damnedest thing, I tell ya. The Binks and Peabody had the run of the place together and again no drama. I put them back in the respective pens, and within an hour Peabody has once again hopped the fence and was looked quite comfy laying by the food dish while Binks was up in his loft. But, a moment ago I check on them and they are laying side by side up in the loft. Awwww.

    It just goes to show ya how thing eventually work out only when you stop trying to control the situation.

  15. See now this is the kind of thing we need video of. (still working on the butt shot. It’s not easy… all my attempts so far wind up looking like this. : )
    Sorry i’ve been a little absent. Mucho busy over here on my end. I missed a lot of consecutive posts over here in LB land.

  16. unless of coorz you have an uncontrol-able urge to sea a rabbit packin a squirt gun. eye wood suspect your open attitude/general all around buddhalaziness has sum thin to due wit dis too.

    eye think yer a proach has been vine decated ~

  17. Bunny Rap

    I’ve got long floppy ears and a fluffy tail
    and no idea if I’m she or a male
    I eats my food rite outta the pail
    when bunny budzin town wez gonna raise hail

    shake yer buns bunny bunny all over the place
    shake yer buns bunny bunny just not in my face


  18. bunny gansta wrap

    i’m a rabbit with a gun that goes squirt squirt
    so get outta my way or ya mite get hert
    i could bite cha on yer balls I could bite cha any place
    i could chew on yer leg or squirt cha in the face
    i could go into a rage and pin ya in my cage
    or i could snuggle up wit cha and turn a new page

    take that sucka

  19. Update: while I don’t believe these two are fully bonded, I am quite happy to say they are now officially living together. Like any other newly co-habitating couple, they have their minor squabbles, but they sleep side by side, and can share a food dish with nary a bite or a grunt.

    Jules – I did do a little video today of my guys. I just need to figure out how to edit that sucker.

    BB Golly – so do you want to do the sound track for the video? As much as I love the gansta rap version, since Mr. Binkles has been such a gentleman lately it doesn’t really apply. But the plain ol’ rap version would be lovely.

  20. and the rest is his story ~ but . . .

    Paul Anka wood luv this =

    “And they called it bunny love
    Oh I guess they’ll never know
    How a young heart really feels
    And why I love his fluffy butt so “

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