It was a year ago this week that one of my most favorite living beings died. Noname (pronounced No-na-me) was a little gray Manx cat who was perhaps my closest companion for 17 years. The connection we had was really special. I can’t say I loved her more than the other sentient beings in my life, but in some ways the love seemed purer, less adulterated.
Anyway as a tribute on this anniversary of her death, I just wanted to re-publish the eulogy I wrote for her shortly after she died. I still miss her.
My dear sweet Nomie –
I want to thank you for being my friend for these last 17 years. You were there for me back when I was a drunk, suicidal mess, through my quest for wholeness, and finally for my journey along the path to enlightenment. You were always there quiet, loyal, never judging and always loving.
When we met you were a wee sickly kitten, more dead than alive. I had no intention of keeping you, but didn’t want you to die. You weren’t given much of a chance, but you fought and you made it. Who could resist a kitten with that much will to live?
Through out our years together, you taught me that love does not need to be big and demonstrative, but is quiet and steady. You were happy to just be near me, just to be my companion. You were my friend and my protector. As the years wore on, you slowed down, as we all do. But, still, you always were near, purring loudly.
About a month ago, you got so sick I thought I was going to lose you. But, you had the will to pull through. It’s as if you stuck around to teach me one last lesson about love. You helped me to see clearly the difference between love and attachment. Love makes you strong and calm – able to face the toughest of circumstances. Attachment makes you a complete wreck. You became my practice. When I was with you, nursing you through your illness, and yesterday helping you die, I tried my best to stay with the mind of love – forgetting for a while my own pain and doing what was best for you. It is a lesson I will never forget.
Good night my sweet friend. May we meet again, whether it is Buddha’s Pure Land, this life or a future life. May the mantras and prayers whispered in your ears and on your behalf ripen in your enlightenment, and may you help others on their own journeys as you have helped me on mine.
- Thank you, my sweet friend.
Stumbling along the path 
What a beauty.
aw
Awww. This brought tears to my eyes.
What a beautiful cat.
Around this time last year we lost or kitty that we had for 17 years. This reminded me of that horribly sad day when he just went limp and never recovered, dying minutes later. He was a member of our family, very much like your sweet Noname. I know how you must feel.
Its always amazing to me the things we can learn from an animal that simply loves to be with you, no matter the circumstances. And sometimes the void created by the loss of such a being is something that never fills completely. But at the least, recognizing that void reminds us of the one we miss, and helps us remember those things which shouldn’t be forgotten.
big hug
the presence of the dead is their absence ~ and that makes the heart grow fonder eh?
Oh, kitty.
My first and best favorite cat will be twelve on September 1st. She’s been with me through the really bad times. I’ve often thought that when I have to let her go, the only witness to much of my life will be gone. Sweet girl. I will miss her so much. I miss her already, and she’s still here.
tpgoddess – thank you. She really was a beauty.
Amurin – I know.
Robin – I didn’t mean to make you cry. But, I’m glad she was able to touch your heart.
Adam – Wise words, my friend, wise words.
Jules – Thanks. *sniff*
Monkees – Yup. You’re absolutely right.
David – Hopefully, you still have some good years left with your girl. But, I completely understand those anticipatory pangs of pain, knowing that one day your friend will be gone.
As I write this my frail 17 year old boy Alaska is sitting right next to me. There are days when I think he won’t make it through the week. And it breaks my heart to see him deteriorate. But, all I can do is love him and not get frustrated when he acts like the old man that he is. He’s put up with my bullshit for 16 years, the least I can do is coddle to his every whim in his dotage.