I can’t help but wonder if there is some exotic foreign or mythical sounding nickname meaning “thief of sleep” that I can bestow upon the boyfriend. I wouldn’t want him to know I’m calling him a thief of sleep, because he always looks so sad and crestfallen whenever I try to explain that he just has this way of fucking with my sleep without even trying.
You must excuse me if I am a little cranky. Less than hour ago I was enjoying a lovely nap after having finished a very good book. All the proper conditions were being met for a good nap: the proper nap time (naps must be started no earlier than 2:30 and no later than 3:30) and the proper company (naps must be shared with at least one feline companion). I don’t nap very often, what with the full-time office job, and on the weekends I’m usually involved in some other activity during prime napping hours. The boyfriend, on the other hand, is all about the naps. That man engages in at least one nap a day. He has no rules around when he’ll nap. If the urge hits him and there is a bed near by, down he goes for the count. Since he works from his home and can set his own hours, anytime is nap time. I am partially disgusted by how indulgent he is when it comes to naps, and I’m also kind of jealous that he can do it frequently and with such ease.
Anyway, as happens 8 out of 10 times I try to take a nap, he inadvertently wakes me up. Today it was with a phone call. Others time it’s by clomping into my house in search of me or one of the cats to come greet him like a conquering hero. Arrrggggggg!
Perhaps I am overly delicate when it comes to my sleep habits, but I always have a hard time falling asleep when he is here. Despite his abundance of naps during the day, he inevitably heads to bed before I do. Even if I’m tired, I stay up later so as to give him time to fall into a deep sleep before I slip into bed myself. Normally, this happens after I’ve fallen asleep myself on the couch. Gingerly I creep into bed while I am still in a half slumber hoping I can just pick up where I left off mere minutes ago. It doesn’t tend to work. Even if he was sleeping somewhat soundly, the sounds of my getting into bed rouse him into enough consciousness where he’ll throw a leg or arm – usually both – over me and then fall back into a deep sleep. I feel trapped and within seconds a deep wave of anxiety washes over me which then turns into adrenalin, and I end up bolting from the bed. (OK. Fine. This doesn’t always happen, but I’m cranky and can make gross over-generalizations if I want to.)
I can avoid this bedtime drama if I remember to take a Tylenol PM early enough in the evening so that the anxiety of feel trapped can’t break through the grogginess. I have found that growling at him or a petulant “don’t” right before the leg or arm toss sometimes helps, and he turns back over and falls back asleep within seconds. And since he’s such a sound sleeper, he rarely remembers being growled at.
Oh well, I didn’t want a nap anyway . . . yeah, yeah I did. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Damn thief of sleep.