May I call you Richard? Mr. Gere? Oh, I thought we were closer than that. OK, I’m sorry Mr. Gere. I went to the Free Tibet rally in San Francisco with every intention of staying to hear you speak. I was all excited. I left work at a reasonable hour so I could get there when it was supposed to start at 6pm. But then there were technical difficulties and it started 45 minutes late. But I stuck it out even though I was sooo tempted to leave. None of my friends had showed up and I was getting hungry. But, for you, for Tibet, I hung in there. I’m all about the Free Tibet cause, Richard. I mean, Mr. Gere. Sure, I spent a few years feeling a bit suspicious about those who over-romanticized the Tibetan cause, but that was the NKT speaking, not me. Free Tibet! Free Tibet! See?
Anyway, even though they got such a late start with the rally, they decided to go on with all the planned speakers anyway, all 2 hours worth. You do know it gets hella cold in the City at night, especially when the breeze kicks up? And while I can do two hours of standing around, going on three is really, really pushing it. When Archbishop Desmond Tutu spoke around 8pm I got a bit re-energized and figured I could hang in there for you. Boy, he’s almost as lovable a religious leader as the Dalai Lama. I could totally see those two hanging out together. Then they had a Tibetan musical group perform. Nice interlude before the final act – you. Nope. There were yet more speakers. I couldn’t take it, Rich, I mean Mr. Gere. I had to go home. My feet were killing me. I was freezing, and I was hungry.
Can I tell you something? I’ve had a crush on you ever since we were both young and had dark hair. You were in American Gigalo and I was a junior at UC Berkeley. Oh my, you made my lady parts all tingly. We kind grew apart in the mid to late 80’s. We both made some bad choices, you in movie parts, and me in life in general. But, in the 90’s we started to get together again. You became one of the world most famous Buddhists, and I got in therapy and later discovered Buddhism for myself. We had something in common again. Sure, a lot of people say you’re a pompous ass, but they don’t know you like I do. I love your good works for Tibet and AIDS, I adore the fact that you let you hair go silver, and frankly in my eyes, you’re still a hottie.
So, I’m sorry Richard Gere I didn’t stick around and here you speak. I’m sure you were awesome and inspiring.