And it looks like my dream is going to come true.
Having put in the mega-hours at work this last month, I had neither the time nor the interest to do any shopping for the boyfriend for Christmas. None. Zip. Zero. So, I told him I would rather celebrate Christmas (secular Christmas, not little baby Jesus in a manger Christmas) on New Years Day instead. He hemmed and hawed a bit, but finally had to acquiesce since he wants something more under the tree than merely Sasquatch or Mr. Binkles.
Every Christmas since the 2nd year after we started dating, we have gone to his brother’s house for Christmas dinner. And while his brother and his family are lovely, lovely, polite, clean people I really don’t have much in common with them. They are, you see, Mormon. And while that doesn’t mean they all sit around talking into their hats, it does mean that their lives revolve around family and the church. And since I’m not a member of either, they don’t have that much interest in me (though they are heart-breakingly polite about it). And truth to be told, I don’t have that much interest in a lot of things they enjoy talking about, namely babies.
I am not moved by babies. I do not wish to touch babies, nor hold babies. Please god do not show me your baby pictures. Unless, of course, it is a baby and an animal. Babies in conjunction with animals are cute (unless the animal is mauling the baby, in that case, the baby is horrifying and why would you show me that picture anyway? You sicko!)
What was I saying? Oh right. Babies. There are eight children in the boyfriend’s brother’s family. Six of whom have gotten married in the last 10 years, so they are now all popping out babies. Some of these babies have evolved into perfect blonde children of the corn. These little children have not yet learned the art of making conversation just to be polite, so they pretty much ignore me once they realize that I am not going to fawn over them or bring them treats. That works for me.
Tomorrow I am sending the boyfriend off to his brother’s without me. All his neices and nephews really do love their weird uncle, even if he is not one of Them. Don’t worry, they’ll baptize him when he’s dead, so it’s all good. Even though he wants me to go, he understands it’s a long journey (they have moved this last year to where it is now about 2 hour trip rather than 1) and I have to work on Wednesday. It’ll be better for him anyway. All the kids will be there for a change, so hopefully he can just relax and enjoy their company without having to worry about his me.
My plans? I picked up the special edition version of Monty Python and The Holy Grail. I have no idea how they are going to fill three disks with special features, but I’m happy to find out. Also, got Life of Brian, as a nod to Our Lord, what with it being his (supposed) birthday and all. And I also got a Bollywood movie just for the hell of it.
So, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. And to those who don’t, may you have a nice, peaceful day. If anyone is looking for me, I’ll be on the couch watching my Monty Python marathon.